Jealous Ex-Boyfriend

I've been having a really strange week. It's kind of a long story, but this past November I met this guy. I'll call him Eric. Eric and I kind of hit it off on the spot. I'd had a lot to drink that night, so parts of it are kind of a blur, but I remember having a really good time with him. The next night, I went out again with friends and with Eric. I had an okay time. I didn't drink that much, but I started to find out things about Eric that I wasn't exactly fond of. Not that I'm super snobby or anything, but I would call myself pretty ambitious, and Eric doesn't go to school or even have a job. He plays basketball with his friends and video games and thats about it. It's kind of a turn off to me, because I find hard-working people attractive. But that's not the only thing I found unattractive, it's just one of the main ones. Anyway, I went on a date with him the next week and I realized I just wasn't attracted to him whatsoever. So I told him a few days after the date that I just wasn't feeling attracted to him and that I felt like we'd make better friends. He seemed pretty cool with it, but now I always hear things through our mutual friends about how he's practically in love with me. He called my friend on new years and told her he wished I'd given him a chance. I feel so bad, I just was really wrapped up in exams at the time and probably didn't even notice that I hurt him.

I saw him again last night. There was a huge party going on and he came with a few of our friends. It was super awkward because his best friend is my best friend's boyfriend so anytime I'd talk to my best friend he'd be there with his friend. And then I started thinking about dancing with him when we got to the party, or even just talking to him. We kept making that awkward eye contact where I'd catch him starring and then he'd look away. So I got really, really confused and I just shrugged it off. Later on I got to the party and I was dancing on stage when my cousin came up to me and started dancing with me. It turns out he was the DJ at the party, so we couldn't really dance that long because he was working, but we just kind of danced and caught up on each others lives. So my cousin goes back to working and Eric comes up to me and asks me who I was dancing with. I told him it was my cousin, and he didn't believe me. He kept saying all this shit about how he'd never dance with his cousin the way I was dancing, which is completely ridiculous. I didn't even touch my cousin other than when I kissed him on the cheek when he came over to said hi, and when I hugged him when he left. I'm so confused. I was dancing with my cousin the exact same way anyone would dance with a friend. So I told Eric he was just being jealous and he flipped out. He ran on stage and started interrogating my cousin about his last name, and how he knew me and how we were related and shit. It was embarrassing and I felt so bad for my cousin. So I basically turn to Eric, tell him to fuck off and leave my cousin alone and then he walked away.

I woke up this morning and all I can think about is Eric. He was super jealous at the party and apparently I'm finding it attractive? It's so strange. I haven't met anyone else that I've even mildly liked since Eric and now I'm starting to worry if I'll ever find a boyfriend. Should I call Eric? Should I just leave it alone? I have no idea. In need to get my feelings sorted out.

I didn't eat all yesterday or today, although I had 4 shots of vodka last night and a bottle of diet coke today. And lots and lots of water of course. This would be ideal if I had gone to the gym for a bit, but of course I haven't. Starting tomorrow I'm going to get back into running every morning. I always feel better if I do my morning runs anyway.

Good luck everyone!
Callie